Howdy gang! Catching up and my meal plan for the week :)

As most of y'all know I've been swamped with school.  I don't think I was really prepared for the work I have to put into it & juggling the kids, house and other responsibilities but I'm going with the flow.  School is going awesome though!

Eating healthy has been pretty easy going.  I've been flip flopping around with my way of eating and just settled on what I truly know, which is sticking close to the Weight Watcher's core plan and doing points.  I can't make meetings so I'm tracking on iTrackBites, which is an app on the iPhone.  I loved low carb but since I was new to that way of eating, I was putting too much thought into it.

Hey, I'm entitled to flip flop.....as long as I don't quit lol

I have also stopped stressing myself out over not being able to do everything I want to so I've been focusing on being active in the day to day things and trying fun stuff like dusting off my hoop, oh and treating myself to a new one.  It's fun to do and cranking up the stereo!  If you are interested, check out Hoopnotica.com

I really need to start running again but that won't happen until the kids go back to school and my work load gets a little lighter with my fall classes but I'm ok with that :)  I will just have to bust my tail in order to get ready for my next half marathon in November....I got this lol

My new hoop :)

This week I made a big batch of scrambled eggs with cooked veggies (spinach, bell peppers, onions) to just heat up and eat quickly before I leave for school, I pack a lunch bag with snacks like grapes, small salad, and a wrap.

This is what Im having for dinner this week.....I was really lazy and kinda crunched for time so everything is from www.laaloosh.com :)  See, you can still slack and make a dinner menu so no excuses y'all! lol

http://www.laaloosh.com/2014/03/04/light-beef-bolognese/

http://www.laaloosh.com/2014/04/01/chicken-tamale-casserole-recipe/

http://www.laaloosh.com/2014/04/14/turkey-taco-soup-recipe/

http://www.laaloosh.com/2014/05/12/crock-pot-chicken-noodle-soup-recipe/

http://www.laaloosh.com/2014/05/13/mushroom-parmesan-chicken-recipe/

Lifting One Another Up: A Revolution (my English paper that some of you wanted to read)

This is my second draft....my finished paper will be a bit better but I wanted to share :)

Lifting One Another Up:  A Revolution 

The first time I experienced women tearing another down to make themselves feel better was when I heard my mom and Nana talking about one of my aunts.   I tip toed down the long dark hallway at my Nana's house and quietly slipped into the room they were in and I sat down pretending to play with a toy.  I was a nosy child and wanted to know what the adults always talked about.  As I listened, they dissected how ugly my aunt was compared to both of them while analyzing themselves in the mirror, nodding in agreement with the other.  I grew up thinking that we were supposed to do that.   

It was about 8 years ago when I saw how wrong it is.  I had joined a direct sales company called Slumber Parties.  Their tag line was "Empowering women from the bedroom to the bank."  Which I didn't really over think it too much at the time.  I wanted to get out of the house and make extra money.  Little did I know that deciding to get involved with this company by attending my first convention would change how I looked at everything.   

I was severely depressed at this point of my life because I felt like I wasn't who I was meant to be.  I was not happy with anyone, including myself.  I was tore others down to make myself feel better.  I knew I wanted to get out of whatever hole I had dug myself into.  A friend of mine coerced me into attending a motivational class with her and I grudgingly went.  When I got to the class I had a seat in the back of the large ball room, not wanting to really get involved.  It felt like I was about to hear nothing of interest to me.  Almost pouting, I listened to a woman that had been with the company for a few years talk about her life.  The ups, down, and severe depression she went through.  I watched the way she lifted up everyone in class, asking them about their troubles and giving them a hug, showing them she honestly cared.  It surprised me on how moved I was.  I wanted to be like her.  I had a chance to talk to this woman and it instantly made me feel better.  While we didn't go through the exact same things in life, we were kindred spirits because of the struggle.  I felt like this was the way women were supposed to be toward each other.  Lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down.  It was my ray of light at the end of my dark depressed tunnel.  I went home and worked hard at applying this positive outlook into my life. 

When I look at posts through my newsfeed on Facebook today, I have a lot of fitness people and people on weight loss journeys in my friend's list, and it floors me to see posts with them tearing another person down to make themselves feel better.  Posting pictures with a curvy woman and a caption like "real men like meat, dogs like bones" or some other way of shaming a person.  It isn't only limited to this, I see this when people tear down celebrities or just a random stranger or even my pictures.  My before and after weight loss pictures have been on TV, in magazines and published online.  It was a thrilling rollercoaster ride that suddenly thrust me into the spotlight and I wasn't expecting the cruelty a stranger would show to me. Don't get me wrong, the support was amazing but equally amazing were the women that commented or emailed me trying to hurt my feelings by picking my looks apart and saying they look so much better. I have to wonder why do women do this?  Why do women try to tear another down to build themselves up?  When is shaming another ok?  It's not. In order for us to grow mentally in a positive direction, we need to put an effort in stopping this.   

This problem is one that humans naturally have, both men and women.  Men will tend to cause physical fights with other men and women will normally have indirect aggression.  So how do we stop the cycle?  In an article I have recently read called People Who Tear You  Down by  Daylle Deanna Schwartz, she writes "People who feel good about themselves want to make others feel good and don't need to knock the joy out of someone." (1).  To me, this is true and the answer to stopping the cycle.  Usually when someone is feeling insecure or just not happy about themselves they will try to take everyone around them along for the ride.  I call them toxic people or haters. 

People have to want to change themselves.  If they do not, then there is nothing you can say or do about what they say or their actions.  So what can you do?  Limit or eliminate your exposure to people that are toxic.  If you become more secure in yourself it helps too because then what they do say doesn't hurt or hurt as much. 

One of my relatives is a very toxic person.  I tolerated her up to a point but I did listen to her tear other people down.  I felt very guilty about listening.  Even if I didn't participate it still felt like I was enabling her to keep doing it.  Soon she set her sights on me and it got back to me that she was making awful remarks about me like she was to the other people I listened to her talk about.  It made me feel so horrible.  I tried to talk to her about it but she thought nothing was wrong with doing it.  She called it constructive criticism but making fun of another person's looks, religious preference or the way they dress is not constructive criticism.  After I thought about it, I decided to walk away from my relationship with her.  It was hard because I was taught to never turn my back on family but it made my life less stressful and I was smiling a lot more.  Mark Twain has said “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”  After eliminating my relative from my life I put forth more effort to be friends with people that were happy with themselves. 

If you don't want to eliminate the toxic person from your life, Schwartz says, "When you don't stop someone from hurting you with insults or disrespectful behavior, they will keep doing it and think it's OK." (1).  My mother is the one person that was going to stay in my life but I never liked her negative attitude and her passive aggressiveness.  For example "You have such a pretty face, if only you'd lose weight.".  I tried to talk to her in a non threatening manner with no avail.  It was suggested to me by my friend, the motivational speaker, that I simple stop the conversation with my mom whenever it turned negative towards me or just in general.  So I tried it, when it started to turn negative I would simply not say another word and just walk away or leave.  It really threw my mom for a loop, to put it nicely it drove her crazy but I stuck to my guns.  After about a month of doing this to my mom, I noticed that the negative conversations slowed down a considerable amount.  It eventually stopped.  If only everyone can be that easy right?  In the long run, it is your responsibility to not allow others to treat you in a way that makes you unhappy. 

What if you are the one tearing another down to build yourself up?  What can you do to change?  I used to be one of these people too.  So what changed?  I decided to love myself and embrace my body, flaws and all.   Believe in the Laws of Attraction.  What you think and believe, you attract the same to you on the outside.  It sounds a little hokey, but ever have something bad happen to you and it ruins your mood?  What happens for the rest of the day?  It seems like it's just raining bad on you right?  The same thing happens if you are in a good mood all day.  Most of the day it feels like you are walking on clouds and smelling roses.  Even if something bad happens, you take it with a bit more stride.  This also works with talking to yourself about yourself.  I used to talk to myself negatively.  I figured that if I called myself a fat ass or made jokes about my cankles that when someone else would call me this or make jokes then it wouldn't hurt.  It did the exact opposite.  The more I called myself names, the more it hurt.  I had to learn to be nice to myself.  I started with just writing down 5 positive things about me for every negative thought in a purple spiral notebook.  It soon filled up with scribbles of my negative talk and my positive rebuttals.  If you wouldn't say it to your best friend then chances are you shouldn't say it to yourself.  Once you start treating yourself with love and respect, it trickles into every aspect of your life.  Including wanting to see others lifted up. 

A revolution is coming.  One where we, as women, start lifting each other up instead of tearing another down to make ourselves feel better.  It starts inside you.  We fall into the trap all too easily of being our worst enemies.  Turn into your own best friend and you will see that it is all interconnected.  We are all beautiful in our own unique way and it's time to celebrate that.  Be truly happy for others, complement them on their achievements or just listen.  I try to lift others up every day when I'm online or when it's real life.  It makes my life better and it will make your life better too.  Try it. 

Cut Yourself Some Slack

So recently I have had zero time to workout.  I've come to conclusion I will just work in more activity during the day....like doing squats when studying or folding laundry, walking on the treadmill if I have to read a chapter,  walking in place in the check out line and parking further away when I am running errands (which since I got a new car I am really ok with that lol).

I said something about that to someone and they tried to guilt me into doing more.  I get up at 5:30am every morning during the week and do not stop until I go to bed around 10pm.  There is no way I'm getting up earlier to workout if its going to cause me to not be my best for the rest of the day.  My summer classes are condensed, 8 weeks of school and covering 16 weeks worth of material, and to me that is most important right now.  That and my family.  Oh and keeping my eating in check, which I have been doing marvelously ;)

Cut yourself some slack, I know I am.  I know I will do more when I am able and that is ok.

This.

Sometimes you just have to do what you can, with what you have, where you are.  Do not let people make you feel like you are inferior because you take a step back or start something but you aren't going "balls to the wall" with it.

How to incorporate more activity?  Here are some more examples I found at http://www.healthcentral.com/diet-exercise/mood247_include-31639-5.html

• Don't use the nearest bathroom. Use one that requires you to walk a bit, preferably up or down some stairs.
   
• Balance on one foot while brushing your teeth. Balance on the other foot while combing your hair.
   
• Park in the furthest space.
   
• Move with your kids. Instead of just watching soccer practice, walk up and down the sidelines. Join in your child's karate class. At the playground, get off the bench and swing, climb, hang and slide.
   
• Hide your TV remote, so you have to get up and walk across the room to push the buttons.
   
• Never take an elevator fewer than three flights, take the stairs.
   
• Get rid of your electric can opener and use a manual one.
   
• Turn your coffee break into a walk break. Walk to a distant vending machine, cafeteria or coffee shop to get your snack.
   
• Stretch or walk while you're talking on the (cordless) phone, preferably with a headset.
   
• Set an "activity" timer or program your computer to remind you to take periodic walking and/or stretching breaks.
   
• Take a five-minute walk before you sit down to eat.
   
• Walk or bike to do errands instead of driving.
   
• Take a minute to stretch your arms, legs, back, shoulders and neck whenever you get up from sitting or lying down.
   
• Sweep your floors, patio and/or front walk every day.
   
• During TV commercials, get up and walk or get down and stretch.
   
• Socialize actively. Instead of sitting and talking, go for a walk with family and/or friends. Or go bowling, play Ping-Pong, basketball, bocce ball or line dancing.
   
• Put your favorite mug on a very low shelf, so you'll have to squat down to get it out and put it back.
   
• Take your dog for a walk every day. If you don't have a dog, borrow your neighbor's, or just walk your "inner dog."
   
• Practice "aerobic shopping" by taking a lap around the mall or grocery store before you go into a store or put an item in your cart.
• Avoid "drive-thrus." Park your car and walk in.
   
• Practice good posture when you're forced to wait in line. Stand firmly on both feet and try to raise the top of your head to touch an imaginary hand held a quarter-inch above you. Let your spine extend, stomach lift, shoulders relax and arms fall at your sides.
   
• Don't automatically drive. If the dry cleaner is across the parking lot from the bank, walk there. (Wear decent walking shoes or keep a good pair in your car.)
   
• Install a chin-up bar in a convenient doorway, then use it often to chin-up, pull-up or simply hang.
   
• Try musical housework. Put on dancing music and sweep, vacuum or wash windows to the beat.
   
• Every time you hear a bell ring (phone bell, doorbell, church bell, etc.) take a deep breath and smile. Think of it as "mouth yoga" that relaxes hundreds of muscles in your face. And it's contagious, so pass it on.

Get up and get moving!  :)

Nothing changes if nothing changes

I hear a lot of "well I did xyz way of eating and when I stopped I gained the weight back so xyz didn't work for me."

My response is usually asking why did they expect the weight to stay gone if they went back to their old habits that caused them to gain the weight in the first place.  The majority of their answers is the same thing.....that it wasn't livable.

You have to be wiling to change in order to make changes.

This doesn't mean you have to change every single thing you want to change all at once.  Sometimes just focusing on one small thing at a time is more effective.  Take for example.......try getting in more veggies in your day.  If you need to break that down to even smaller goals, look at the meals you don't eat any veggies at and try adding them into at least one of those meals.  As you get comfortable with that then it's time to add in another small change.

It's a process.  This is where you need to throw out that vision of perfection in your head.....you are a work in progress.

Soon enough, the small changes you make will add up to a bigger picture.  Small changes will help you turn it into a lifestyle change & get you out of that yo-yo dieting nightmare that most of the world is in too :)