From Fat to Fit Chick: : 2014   


Monday, December 29, 2014

What I have learned in 2014 & my goals for 2015 :)

I'm, what my mom used to call me, an eternal optimist.  I might get down and out sometimes but I am constantly looking for a silver lining.  So instead of being relieved that this year is almost over like a lot of my Facebook friends are......I'm taking everything that happened to me as a learning experience.

My biggest lesson?  I'm human.

Things happen, life happens, and your reaction happens.  You can stress yourself out with the would-a, could-a, should-a *or* you can reflect and learn.

I've learned that I can do so many things like going back to college at 35, and I've learned that when you lose someone your world turns upside down.  Both are great lessons in life.  It's weird to say that about the bad, but it really is.  The good has shown me what I am capable of by myself and the bad brought my husband, sisters, brother and step-dad closer (although some family, it has brought out their true colors which is super sad but that's on them).

So what are my goals for 2015?

- To get back to my goal weight.  After my mom passed away I went through phases where I could careless what I ate to micro managing everything I put in my mouth.  I needed to start healing from the inside before I could fix the eating issue, so I just focused on that.  I wound up topping out at 210 pounds at one point (I'm 201 today because mainly I'm working on the next goal).

- I'm regaining my happiness and be content.  Not all the time, that's need to have every emotion.  But most of the time, well yeah you can be happy.  I had it once.  I know what it feels like and I want that back more than anything else.  Everything seems to fall into place and when it doesn't, I can usually roll with it.

It's a short list lol But y'all know how I like the K.I.S.S. method right? :)

What are your goals for 2015?

Saturday, December 20, 2014

I'm a woman....I can change my mind if I want

As a person that seems like she knows what she wants, I have to admit that the past 4 months have been an emotional roller coaster that would have tested the strongest person on Earth and it felt like I was losing my of course I didn't know what I wanted.  I just wanted to survive and cope.  Which lead me to make rash decisions.  The good thing about that is....

Today I've finalized some big decisions about my blog and fan page, which I just unpublished since I quite wasn't ready to send it to Facebook oblivion.  Admittedly I miss my readers like crazy.  Y'all were a big part of my life.  Soooo.......I'm going to be bringing both back on January 1st.  It's going to be a bit different though.

The main thing is that I'm changing it back to posting about what I'm doing instead of blanket general advice.  Why just post the same advice over and over again?  I feel like I lost the personal touch I used to have with my page.  I want that back.  I miss just talking to y'all in the comments.  Cheering you on as you cheer me on.  The community.

So what have I been up to?

I have regained a good bit of weight and you know what?  

I'm ok with it.  I do want to be the best version of myself and I will always strive for that but there are so many ways that can happen including putting my health as a priority but it's not limited to only that.  I'm pretty sure that once I get a hold on stress eating again, the weight will take care of itself.  That will always be a constant battle and while the yo-yoing might not be ideal, I've learned from each time I've done it.

I'm finished my fall semester at UNO with one A and the rest B's, which y'all are gonna groan on this next part, I know those are great but I know I can do better next semester.  I'm aiming for the majority to be A's in the spring :)  Since I'm on break, I've been working more and more at the Audubon Zoo as a volunteer.  This volunteering gig is a great step to get my foot back in the door with them (hopefully I can make a career with Audubon once I'm out of school) and I get to meet lots of people and hopefully some of those will turn into friends.   Plus teaching the little kiddos that I come in contact about how amazing animals are and why we need them is a great feeling!

I get to take beautiful pictures like this on my down time at the zoo :)

While I have been slacking on running, I've found another love.....kayaking!  My arms are gonna be like cannons for realz!  Not only does it benefit me for the workout, it taps into the explorer in me.  There is nothing like paddling through marshes and bayous listening to all of the wildlife around.  From kingfishers to alligators, it'll keep you on your toes lol  Or just give you beautiful views like these....

I am not sure but I think this is either an osprey or bald eagle nest.  We'll see in the spring time!

Then there are my kids.....they are resilient creatures.  My oldest that I have been homeschooling will be starting back up in school after their holiday vacation is over.  I dunno how that is going to work out for us but he needs to learn social skills.  Plus I'll be taking 17 hours next semester and I can't possibly come home to teach him after my long ass days.  My middle guy is in the band and plays saxophone, he also thinks he is going to be the next member of the Globe Trotters (never mind that he only plays basketball in the driveway lol).  My youngest is a force to be reckoned with as usual.  They are my light in my dark moments <3

And I can't forget my husband......he has kept me anchored and been the voice of reason when I can't think clearly.  Plus my main kayak partner because he doesn't like when I go alone <3

Tell me what you have been up to!  I think about my page and y'all every day <3  I hope you all have a happy holiday season!

Monday, November 24, 2014

Dropping in :)

I know I said I wasn't going to not do this blog anymore but it's like cake....I can't pass it up lol

So my goal is to post weekly.  I'll see if I can keep my promise.  I'll be updating my new blog at more if you want to keep up with me. Maybe once I can keep my emotions in check and not let pissy people get to me I might publish my fan page again too but for now it's just unpublished.

What I wanted to post today is this:

I see this every day  I firmly think that if you put something in front of you like a certain quote & have to read it every day that you'll start to believe it.
When I first started trying to love myself I would put post its every where that had self-love quotes on them esp on the mirror in my bathroom when to read them, I would have to look at myself.
Just a tip for those wanting to be nicer to themselves <3

Have a great week y'all!

What is your favorite quote?

Monday, October 20, 2014

Going Backwards....that's me

This collage I made this morning.  The picture all the way to the left is me at 360, the middle picture was me hovering around 175 and the one on the right was taken this past Thursday at 195.

I'm having a tough time getting things together.

I thought I had things together after my mom died 2 months ago but I don't.  I've been binging on crap even if I eat healthy for the most part.....and that my friends has made me gain 20 pounds in that short amount of time.

My soul feels like it's lost and it has taken all my strength to focus on school and my kids.  Which at least with school I'm still making A's and B's.  My poor husband has seriously been picking up the slack and trying to bring me out of my funk.

Which I think I slowly am.  I'm having more good days than bad.  My binges are becoming a bit more controllable.  I've been trying to focus on my feelings more.  Letting myself cry or get angry.  I have been having a hard time giving myself permission to really enjoy the good moments.  Like everything else, I'm slowly doing that too.  At first I felt really guilty enjoying taking my kids to places or just snuggling with them on the couch but I'm not feeling as guilty now.

I'm giving myself as much slack as I can give and I have been talking to someone to help me make this loss livable.  Rallying the troops and depending on others is harder for me to do than anything else.  I'm so used to being independent (it's a major flaw sometimes).

So this is me.  I know I have a long road to go but here I am being real with y'all.  Shit happens.  You cope how you are able to cope.    Which airing my emotional breakdowns on this is harder than admitting that I gained a good chunk of weight back.  I can deal with a weight gain way easy.  lol

I'll make it though.  I'm a fighter.

This is why I mentioned something about intuitive eating on my fan page last night.  It really helped me get a handle on my emotional eating at the beginning of my weight loss journey before.  I will get this under control.....nothing in my closet fits lol

Oh yeah, and from all the crying.....I now have chronic dry eye so I can't really wear contacts right now lol My glasses are driving me crazy but that is what it is too ;)

Thursday, October 16, 2014

You are your own worst critic

Ever stop in front of a mirror and mentally pick yourself apart?  Harping on flaws that you only see?  Or how about when you lose a lot of weight and still see the old you in the mirror?

I can honestly say I've done all of that at some point in my life.  The first two I used to do constantly.  Screwing up my face in the mirror and not liking what I was seeing or at least trying to see why my husband thought I was beautiful.

After I lost all the weight I did, I had problems trying to get my mind to catch up.  Not only in the mirror but with things like scooting by reality I would have plenty of room but I would turn to the side, suck in my "gut" and hope that I could squeeze by.  

I wound up being able to get past my body image issues without seeing a therapist but I'm going to tell you, if you can't then please go see one.  Body dysmorphia can happen to anyone, whether you are at an ideal weight or not.  

This picture is something I printed out a long time ago to help me:

It does take a lot of work....a lot.  Over time though it is so freaking worth it.  I don't call myself a "fat ass" anymore or any other derogatory name any more.  I don't ask my husband why does he love me because I'm ugly.  I don't need to be reassured over and over again because the image I see and the image everyone else sees is different.

Every morning I want to do this now.....

We are all amazing people.......I hope you all eventually stop being your own worst critic and become your own best friend <3

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Finding a New Normal

It's still raw.

If you haven't seen my Facebook posts, my mama passed away on August 21st after suffering a heart attack two weeks ago today.

I feel so lost.

She drove me absolutely crazy sometimes like I think most moms do to their children but she was also my best friend that I could share anything with.

My mama, our dog, and me holding onto my baby sister
My heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest.

But here I am.....trying to find a new normal.  Some days have been ok.  Then there are some days where I go to pick up the phone, and I realize I can't call her to tell her what I was thinking or hear what she was thinking.  Or I hear a song she used to love and I just lose it.

I have went through a period where I was barely eating to now wanting to eat everything in sight.  So while I'm coping with losing her, I need to move forward as well, no matter if I want to or not.  She was so proud of me being in magazines and on TV, she told me she was famous too since I came from her :)  I still want to make her proud.  I refuse to gain what I lost back, I will graduate college, and I will be there for my family.

Here I am, yet again, recommitting to my health.  It seems like I've been starting over so much lately.  At least I'm starting to care again.  The past 2 weeks I could have given two shits less about myself.  My first day of school was the day before she passed away and with that and pulling everything together for a memorial service, taking care of the kids.......I've just been functioning.

But as much as I feel like a hole is in my heart, I must keep going.

So I'm going to keep it simple with food, I'm not going to stress about my next half marathon and if I can run it (I'll crawl the damn thing if I have to).....I'm going to try to find the joy in every day again.  It drove my mom crazy that I was so positive but I think she secretly loved it too.

For some reason this saying keeps running through my mind and I'm not sure if it's my mom putting it there or what but I will take it <3

Oh and I apologize if this blog sounded like it makes no sense so please bear with me while I go through my grief.  Writing has always helped me cope with life.

I'll post my dinner menu and simplified plan of action either tonight or tomorrow.  Keep me accountable ok? :)

Saturday, August 16, 2014

I never hated myself because I was fat

When I post my before and progress pictures I always get comments like "you were beautiful when you were bigger why hate on yourself?" or "there is nothing repulsive about your before picture" and it always makes me pause.

I never said I hated myself because I was fat.  I might have been disappointed that I let my weight go as far as I did but never did I hate myself for my weight.  In fact I never mention hating myself ever on my side by side pictures.

I did hate myself for a long time though.  I hated myself over deeper things.  Mainly because as a mom I put myself on the very bottom of my priority list and it got to the point where I didn't even know who the hell I was anymore besides being a mom, wife or caregiver in some other way.  I was so much more than that and I hated myself for being a doormat.  I hated myself for not living up to my expectations or dreams.

Every time I would look into the mirror I would feel sadness that I couldn't cope without eating my feelings.  I never hated myself for it though.

When I was severely depressed and wanting to end my wasn't because of my weight.  It was the hopeless despair that I felt because I felt like I lost my identity.  Not because of my weight.

So when I say I decided to be happy & love myself, the weight loss was a side effect.  When you are happy and love yourself, you only want the best for yourself and that was what eating healthy and being active was and still is for me.

This is where going back to college comes in too.  I've always wanted to be someone that worked with animals in some way.  Of course when I was a kid I wanted to be a veterinarian but it evolved into helping conserve Louisiana native wildlife and their habitat.  I tried doing the personal trainer thing and while I loved it, it really didn't feel like something I wanted to do forever.  So happiness wins again for me.

Anyway, getting back to the hating wasn't because the fact that I was fat, it was the events that lead me to become fat that I hated myself for.

This is why I am such a big proponent for fixing what is going on in your head.  You can try to fix the weight but if you don't figure out what makes you tick and fix the problems that are causing you to be unhappy then it's just like putting a band-aid on something that needs stitches.

Oh and looking back at the girl I was before......I love her and respect her so much.  She did what she could and eventually found the way through to her happiness.  She made me a strong person.  For this, I could never ever hate her.  Looking back at my before pictures makes me happy.  I know how that story ends :)

Friday, August 8, 2014

Let it go! Let it go!

Lately I've been pretty darn happy with myself.  It's not really a bad thing.  A lot of people think just because you are happy that you will slack.  I think that honor would be for being stressed out for me.

So it's time for me to be real right?  When I get real about my journey, the only thing I fear is losing credibility with all of you for not being perfect.  (Just being honest lol it makes me nervous every single time I tell y'all the good, the bad and the ugly)  I gained 10 pounds back when I was going through finals and that puts me at 185 and I have been maintaining ever since.  Not too bad when I wasn't eating as well as I could have been during finals.  The maintaining I'm just taking as being very lucky.  lol I'll take it.

And you know what I have done about it?

I'm sorry that this song is probably now stuck in your head lol

It really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things.  My clothes are a little tight but I'm not beating myself up, not feeling disgusted or anything else negative.  It happens.  Life happens.

If you are looking for one of those perfect weight loss people I am not one ;)  Let me say this happens.  We are human and I am here to let you know that while you need to take personal responsibility you can do it in a positive manner.  What happens when you get off track?  You let it go.  You make it a learning experience and move on.  Then get back to what you were doing before you got off track.

It makes for a bumpy ride on your journey but it sure is better than getting mad at yourself and totally giving up.

A before and during picture....I like 'em, y'all like 'em :)

I will always be a work in progress :)  So I'm moving on.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Weekly Musings & What's for Dinner

This past week has been a little too fun for me.  After I finished my math final exam I kinda celebrated a little too much with my the snoball stand, at the store, at home.  Then there was the 2 mom night out's I went to.  Painting nights at both :)  Which were awesome but I had ice cream, cake, muffuletta mini sandwiches, etc. Oh and my husband brought home donuts yesterday morning and I ate two, plus we went out for dinner with the kids and to the movies to see Guardians of the Galaxy.

To really sum it up, my eating absolutely sucked this past week so I'm owning it :)

The bright side?  I didn't let it turn into a mindless downward eating everything in sight spiral.  That spiral which I think we all know well.  The I-screwed-up-so-I-might-as-well-throw-in-the-towel-and-eat-everything-on-earth-just-because-I-wasn't-perfect spiral.  Why do we do that to ourselves?  Would we smash our phone until it breaks because we accidentally dropped it?  I know I'd cry if I did that to my iPhone lol those suckers are why don't we treat ourselves as something expensive too?

The other bright side is that I scored a 4.0 GPA my first semester back in college.  A freaking 4.0 GPA!  Having kids and staying home with them did not make me stupid lol (you know, don't use it lose it)  It still makes me want to dance around!  This makes me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to, no matter the obstacles of my 13 year old son with Asperger's, my other two kiddos, my husband travelling for work at the most inconvenient and most stressful times, and whatever else life decides to throw at me!  And just because I went crazy with the exclamation marks in this paragraph !!!!!!!!!!!! *giggle*

This week for me is getting back to my basics.  Gotta keep it simple....eating lean meats, lots of veggies, fruit, whole grains, and healthy fats.  I'm also looking forward to the kids going back to school on Thursday (yeah, we start back early) so I can start over with running....which I haven't done in a while.  Should be painful but fun ;)

So what's for dinner this week?

Chicken Rollatini with Spinach - which my husband volunteered to cook tonight.  Nothing hotter than a man that cooks and cleans afterwards ;)

Spaghetti Pie

Skinny Chicken Enchiladas

Baked steelhead trout and sauteed zoodles (no recipe gang, just winging it)

Mushroom Parmesan Chicken with a salad

Grilled chicken (maybe steak too) and roasted/grilled veggies

Chicken Bacon Ranch Pasta

Don't forget that I'm running a Dietbet starting tomorrow (it's not too late to join!)

And finally my quote of the week:

My question to you:
Have you stumbled recently?  How are you going to get back on track?

Monday, July 28, 2014

Weekly Musings and What's for Dinner :)

Last week was my last week of the summer semester at the University of New Orleans.  In this short time period I kind of had a mini meltdown, not knowing who I was, feeling like a fraud, and just over thinking things in general.  This blog might jump around a bit but welcome to my mind lol

In realizing and setting forth on this dream of mine to finally continue on with my degree has taught me several things.'s okay to love more than one thing.  I do not need to just identify with one love (health and fitness) or the other (Louisiana wildlife conservation).  I can do both.  It's just a balance. Although it might be unbalanced at times.  Hopefully that didn't come out too crazy lol's totally okay to decide to do something different than what you were doing before.  I decided to walk away from the health and fitness industry as a career.  It's a tough industry to be in but I've never shied away from tough before so that's not the reason why.  It just clicked one day that I'm not getting any younger and why not do something that had been my life passion before I gained the self confidence to take it on?  When I was younger I was so timid.  I gave in to other's doubts about my abilities and I truly regret that.  I'm now in the position to tell them to f off and try my hardest without that cloud hanging over my head.  I want to see what happens now.

Third.....why the hell not?  Taking a chance on something that I feel that is right in my gut worked when I lost a bunch of weight and transformed my life mentally the first time I went out on a limb, might as well try it again right?

Fourth, the fraud thing....since I didn't feel as passionately about health and fitness because of my epiphany I felt like a fraud by posting about stuff on my fan page.  I am getting over that though.  The break I took helped me figure out that everything I post applies to all aspects of life and not just getting your mind right to get healthy.  Everything is a mind game.  No matter if it's losing weight or changing careers or being happy in the middle of a all comes down to the right attitude and the decision to change your mind.

It'll be an on going journey I am sure trying to balance it all lol

Now that you made it that far and waded through my rambling here is my menu for dinner this week :)  My husband paid our new car note twice on accident, the insurance company decided it was going to take out double the amount it quoted me and I went ahead and bought a few of my books for next semester (yeah not cheap, even if I was going to rent them if I could find them to rent).  I wasn't counting on the first two happening and it's been really really tight.  I can roll with it though.  So our menu is really really budget friendly, since I went shopping in our freezer lol  I stock up on meat every time I catch it on sale, and only had to buy some fresh veggies and a couple bags of brown rice (they really need to start selling bigger bags where I live lol).  *I do have to put a disclaimer that I will be back later to update my dirty rice recipe*

Dirty Rice with steamed veggies (We had this last night)
Chicken Taco Chili
Leftover night
"Butter" beans with brown rice and sauteed or steamed veggies
Breakfast for dinner.....omelets with veggies, pancakes for the kids, turkey sausage links I found in the freezer
Grilled chicken or pork chops with seasoned brown rice and veggie skewers

Nothing fancy this week but overall healthy :)

Oh and if you would like to participate I am doing a Dietbet that is starting August 5th!  If you don't know about Dietbet, you pay in this game $25 to enter the game.  If you lose 4% of your body weight you get to split the pot with everyone else that makes their 4%.  Dietbet does have precautions in place to keep everyone honest.  On average the winners of my games average about $40 to each winner.  I do get a percentage from the game but it goes straight to helping me pay for college (I've always been honest about that).  I also do giveaways and stuff there.  It's a lot of fun and you get support from everyone that is playing the game :)

My theme for this week is:

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Weekly Musings and What's for Dinner

This next week is my last week of the summer semester so this will be a crazy time.  My husband has been gone for a week and I have my doubts he'll be home so I can study next weekend for my math final.  It's going to be crazy hectic especially if I have to study with my kids at home.  I am determined to keep my A's in my classes.  I know when I'm done and the kids go back to school (they start August 7th here so a big yay!!) I will so be pampering myself with a pedicure and facial at my favorite spa.

That is pretty much what has been going on with me.  The busier I am, the less I think about food during the day (that can be good right? lol) so I've noticed that my planning has been really awesome with making sure I eat....and when I do eat I have access to healthy stuff instead of junk.

I pack this every day.

My Thirty One Out N About's discontinued  but you can find them on eBay

This gets packed with extra water, my water bottle, some quick on the go snacks like grapes, broccoli florets and a small container of dressing to dip it in, hard boiled eggs, cheese sticks or cubes, and my lunch which is usually a salad or a wrap.

I pre-pack everything at night, put it into my lunch bag in the morning with reusable frozen packs to keep it cold (it sits in my car and I carry what I know I'll eat between classes and the rest is there when I'm done) and go :)   

My breakfast plan = quick!  I have been cooking a bulk batch of scrambled eggs with veggies and eating that quickly while I'm getting the kids up and ready to go to my mom's house.  It might be boring to have the same thing every morning but I'm okay with that.

My dinner plan is where most of my variety comes from :)  This week will be bigger batches so I don't have to cook every day.

I'm cooking baked chicken tonight with seasoned brown rice (I just have fun with my spices with the rice) and sauteed asparagus.  The chicken and rice should take us into Monday's meal too with me only having to cook a veggie.

My other dinner choices are (in no particular order):

Slow Cooker Cheeseburger Soup from Weight Watchers

Crockpot Salsa Verde Chicken (mine will be over a salad and the kids will have rice and a side salad)

Easy Macaroni Casserole

Annnnd I think that will be it for the week.  It'll make enough for me and the three minions, even if I might have to double the recipe for maybe the cheeseburger soup. quote of the week ;)

Sunday, July 13, 2014

My week recap and what's for dinner this week :)

I am missing y'all and my Facebook fan page a lot.  I've decided to try and make it work after my finals for my summer classes.  Which won't happen until July 29th.  It's just not the same without y'all and no matter how much of an identity crisis I have, I'm willing to share it all with y'all lol Yay, right?  You'll just find out a lot more about I totally will stop a car to pick up a turtle crossing the road ;)

So what have I been doing this week?  Pretty much the same that I've done since I started school.  I've gotten really good at packing my lunch and snacks.  The sucky thing is that I dropped and broke my water bottle.  I picked up another one just like it yesterday morning then totally forgot it at a laser tag place about 45 minutes away *sigh* So my goal tomorrow is buy yet another one before I pick up my boys from my mom's house.

I have gotten more exercise in too. Which has made me feel seems like lately it's been me going to school, doing a shit ton of homework and juggling the kids.  I've only been doing either some hooping (I'm participating in Hoopnotica's hooping bootcamp or doing some Walk Away the Pounds dvds.  It's more that what I was doing so I'll take it lol

My daughter had her 8th birthday this week too.  We went to laser tag for her party yesterday and had a blast!  I haven't played since before I had kids so it was a treat :)

Oh and my husband bought donuts for breakfast this morning.  I picked up one, got it to my mouth then put it back.  I'm planning on splurging on some of my daughter's left over birthday cake and didn't want the donut that bad lol

And that wraps up my week in a was yours?

Now here is my dinner round up!

Taco Stuffed Zucchini Boats (my zucchini plants in my garden are going crazy producing so I'll be working in zukes in all my dinners this week in some way lol)

Chicken Pot Pie Soup (totally putting this one in the slow cooker ;))

Crock Pot Chicken Cacciatore (one of my family's favs)

Crock pot Pork Roast and sauteed zucchini - no recipe....just throwing that baby in and playing with the spices in my cabinet!

Slow Cooker Beef Stew (never tried this one before)

Baked Ziti (Yum!)

Monday, July 7, 2014

The most important thing.......

The most important thing you could do for yourself is to be kind and loving to yourself. We should be our own best friends, not our worst enemies.

My homework for y'all is to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and smile. That's it. Do it every time you see yourself. It might be awkward at first but soon enough it gets easier and then you can move on to something else to help you be more positive about you.

I can tell you....weight loss is not a cure all. If you don't figure out how to love yourself in your journey, there is no promise you'll love yourself when you reach your goal.

Be kind. You deserve it.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Howdy gang! Catching up and my meal plan for the week :)

As most of y'all know I've been swamped with school.  I don't think I was really prepared for the work I have to put into it & juggling the kids, house and other responsibilities but I'm going with the flow.  School is going awesome though!

Eating healthy has been pretty easy going.  I've been flip flopping around with my way of eating and just settled on what I truly know, which is sticking close to the Weight Watcher's core plan and doing points.  I can't make meetings so I'm tracking on iTrackBites, which is an app on the iPhone.  I loved low carb but since I was new to that way of eating, I was putting too much thought into it.

Hey, I'm entitled to flip long as I don't quit lol

I have also stopped stressing myself out over not being able to do everything I want to so I've been focusing on being active in the day to day things and trying fun stuff like dusting off my hoop, oh and treating myself to a new one.  It's fun to do and cranking up the stereo!  If you are interested, check out

I really need to start running again but that won't happen until the kids go back to school and my work load gets a little lighter with my fall classes but I'm ok with that :)  I will just have to bust my tail in order to get ready for my next half marathon in November....I got this lol

My new hoop :)

This week I made a big batch of scrambled eggs with cooked veggies (spinach, bell peppers, onions) to just heat up and eat quickly before I leave for school, I pack a lunch bag with snacks like grapes, small salad, and a wrap.

This is what Im having for dinner this week.....I was really lazy and kinda crunched for time so everything is from :)  See, you can still slack and make a dinner menu so no excuses y'all! lol

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Lifting One Another Up: A Revolution (my English paper that some of you wanted to read)

This is my second finished paper will be a bit better but I wanted to share :)

Lifting One Another Up:  A Revolution 
The first time I experienced women tearing another down to make themselves feel better was when I heard my mom and Nana talking about one of my aunts.   I tip toed down the long dark hallway at my Nana's house and quietly slipped into the room they were in and I sat down pretending to play with a toy.  I was a nosy child and wanted to know what the adults always talked about.  As I listened, they dissected how ugly my aunt was compared to both of them while analyzing themselves in the mirrornodding in agreement with the other.  grew up thinking that we were supposed to do that.   
It was about 8 years ago when I saw how wrong it is.  I had joined a direct sales company called Slumber Parties.  Their tag line was "Empowering women from the bedroom to the bank."  Which I didn't really over think it too much at the time.  I wanted to get out of the house and make extra money.  Little did I know that deciding to get involved with this company by attending my first convention would change how I looked at everything.   
I was severely depressed at this point of my life because I felt like I wasn't who I was meant to be.  I was not happy with anyone, including myself.  I was tore others down to make myself feel better.  I knew I wanted to get out of whatever hole I had dug myself into.  A friend of mine coerced me into attending a motivational class with her and I grudgingly went.  When I got to the class I had a seat in the back of the large ball room, not wanting to really get involved.  It felt like I was about to hear nothing of interest to me.  Almost pouting, I listened to a woman that had been with the company for a few years talk about her life.  The ups, down, and severe depression she went through.  I watched the way she lifted up everyone in class, asking them about their troubles and giving them a hug, showing them she honestly cared.  It surprised me on how moved I was.  I wanted to be like her.  I had a chance to talk to this woman and it instantly made me feel better.  While we didn't go through the exact same things in life, we were kindred spirits because of the struggle I felt like this was the way women were supposed to be toward each other.  Lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down.  It was my ray of light at the end of my dark depressed tunnel.  I went home and worked hard at applying this positive outlook into my life. 
When I look at posts through my newsfeed on Facebook today, I have a lot of fitness people and people on weight loss journeys in my friend's list, and it floors me to see posts with them tearing another person down to make themselves feel better.  Posting pictures with a curvy woman and a caption like "real men like meat, dogs like bones" or some other way of shaming a person.  It isn't only limited to this, I see this when people tear down celebrities or just a random stranger or even my pictures.  My before and after weight loss pictures have been on TV, in magazines and published online.  It was a thrilling rollercoaster ride that suddenly thrust me into the spotlight and I wasn't expecting the cruelty a stranger would show to me. Don't get me wrong, the support was amazing but equally amazing were the women that commented or emailed me trying to hurt my feelings by picking my looks apart and saying they look so much better. I have to wonder why do women do this?  Why do women try to tear another down to build themselves up?  When is shaming another ok?  It's not. In order for us to grow mentally in a positive direction, we need to put an effort in stopping this.   
This problem is one that humans naturally have, both men and women.  Men will tend to cause physical fights with other men and women will normally have indirect aggression.  So how do we stop the cycle?  In an article I have recently read called People Who Tear You  Down by  Daylle Deanna Schwartz, she writes "People who feel good about themselves want to make others feel good and don't need to knock the joy out of someone." (1).  To me, this is true and the answer to stopping the cycle.  Usually when someone is feeling insecure or just not happy about themselves they will try to take everyone around them along for the ride.  I call them toxic people or haters. 
People have to want to change themselves.  If they do not, then there is nothing you can say or do about what they say or their actions.  So what can you do?  Limit or eliminate your exposure to people that are toxic.  If you become more secure in yourself it helps too because then what they do say doesn't hurt or hurt as much. 
One of my relatives is a very toxic person.  I tolerated her up to a point but I did listen to her tear other people down.  I felt very guilty about listening.  Even if I didn't participate it still felt like I was enabling her to keep doing it.  Soon she set her sights on me and it got back to me that she was making awful remarks about me like she was to the other people I listened to her talk about.  It made me feel so horrible.  I tried to talk to her about it but she thought nothing was wrong with doing it.  She called it constructive criticism but making fun of another person's looks, religious preference or the way they dress is not constructive criticism.  After I thought about it, I decided to walk away from my relationship with her.  It was hard because I was taught to never turn my back on family but it made my life less stressful and I was smiling a lot more.  Mark Twain has said Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”  After eliminating my relative from my life I put forth more effort to be friends with people that were happy with themselves. 
If you don't want to eliminate the toxic person from your life, Schwartz says, "When you don't stop someone from hurting you with insults or disrespectful behavior, they will keep doing it and think it's OK." (1).  My mother is the one person that was going to stay in my life but I never liked her negative attitude and her passive aggressiveness.  For example "You have such a pretty face, if only you'd lose weight.".  I tried to talk to her in a non threatening manner with no avail.  It was suggested to me by my friend, the motivational speaker, that I simple stop the conversation with my mom whenever it turned negative towards me or just in general.  So I tried it, when it started to turn negative I would simply not say another word and just walk away or leave.  It really threw my mom for a loop, to put it nicely it drove her crazy but I stuck to my guns.  After about a month of doing this to my mom, I noticed that the negative conversations slowed down a considerable amount.  It eventually stopped.  If only everyone can be that easy right?  In the long run, it is your responsibility to not allow others to treat you in a way that makes you unhappy. 
What if you are the one tearing another down to build yourself up?  What can you do to change?  I used to be one of these people too.  So what changed?  I decided to love myself and embrace my body, flaws and all.   Believe in the Laws of Attraction.  What you think and believe, you attract the same to you on the outside.  It sounds a little hokey, but ever have something bad happen to you and it ruins your mood?  What happens for the rest of the day?  It seems like it's just raining bad on you right?  The same thing happens if you are in a good mood all day.  Most of the day it feels like you are walking on clouds and smelling roses.  Even if something bad happens, you take it with a bit more stride.  This also works with talking to yourself about yourself.  I used to talk to myself negatively.  I figured that if I called myself a fat ass or made jokes about my cankles that when someone else would call me this or make jokes then it wouldn't hurt.  It did the exact opposite.  The more I called myself names, the more it hurt.  I had to learn to be nice to myself.  I started with just writing down 5 positive things about me for every negative thought in a purple spiral notebook.  It soon filled up with scribbles of my negative talk and my positive rebuttals.  If you wouldn't say it to your best friend then chances are you shouldn't say it to yourself.  Once you start treating yourself with love and respect, it trickles into every aspect of your life.  Including wanting to see others lifted up. 
A revolution is coming.  One where we, as women, start lifting each other up instead of tearing another down to make ourselves feel better.  It starts inside you.  We fall into the trap all too easily of being our worst enemies.  Turn into your own best friend and you will see that it is all interconnected.  We are all beautiful in our own unique way and it's time to celebrate that.  Be truly happy for others, complement them on their achievements or just listen.  I try to lift others up every day when I'm online or when it's real life.  It makes my life better and it will make your life better too.  Try it.